You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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