Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
