so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize