i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I got inside last night via doggy door
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
