Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
