Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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