i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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