Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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