it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
