WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
