i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
