Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
and she was petting her beer can
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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