Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
