Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
