She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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