If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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