My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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