He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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