spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
