Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
