I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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