So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize