i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
How does it feel to date your dad?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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