Rock
Scissors
Fuck
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize