So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
