Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
PANTIES FOUND
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
