my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
