We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
