we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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