doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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