Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize