Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
