I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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