He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
