if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
