is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
