Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
