my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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