you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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