i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
