We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
