Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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