Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
