The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
