he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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