He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
