But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I understand Curling. That high.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
