I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
