If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
