thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
