I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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