Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
