There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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