my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize