I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
