saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
