Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
