PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
