we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Is it because I queefed?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize