Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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